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Dec 17 2007 5:03 PM
'Twas the night before Bozic and all through the kuca,
The zrak smelled of spicy sarma and rakija vruca.
By the dimnjak the slapice were hung kinda krivo,
In hopes that Sveti Nikola would soon bring some pivo.
Tata was in his soba and was snoring pretty hard,
Tired from stealing the drvo from our komsija's backyard.
Mama was in the podrum cooking like a budala,
She was making some supa and rum-filled baklava.
When out on the lawn there arose such a galama,
Tata yelled from his soba, "Pa ko ti je kurac vama?!"
There was a kucanje on the front vrata with such a loud barrage,
I yelled through the prozor, "This is a Serbian house, come in
through the garage!"
And standing in the garaza right next to my car,
Was my drunk Tetak Milan coming home from the bar.
"Ajde, idi spavaj," I told him with might,
Don't propasti my chances of seeing Sveti Nikola tonight.
About two sati later I heard a buka downstairs,
So I jumped from my krevet to see who was there.
Standing by the drvo and eating some leftover pizza,
Was good 'ol Sveti Nikola reeking of homemade sljivovica!
He was all dressed in crveno and big as an ox,
And wore some smede sandale along with crne socks.
Smelling like a cigan that's been drinking for days,
He wasn't what I expected, I was actually amazed.
"U pizdu materinu, kako mrzim ovaj posao," he said,
And then muttered something about his zena and how he wished she was
dead.
He put the presents under the drvo while whistling a Bozic beat,
They were wrapped up kinda shitty with paper bags from 49th Street.
12 carape for me and 12 for my brother,
3 pairs of gace for my dad and turska kafa for my mother.
This Serbian Santa was pokvaren - he was nothing like the fable,
I should of known it when he swiped my pack of cigarette from the
table.
I yelled, "Hey!", as Sveti Nikola turned around like a car,
Throwing his slapa at me as
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"You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it.."
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